Three months of motherhood – the light at the end of the tunnel that was teasing me for days and weeks. I made it. I’ve been through a gazillion feelings from overjoyed to overwhelmed to mad (yes mad). As I experienced every new and trying episode of motherhood I was mad at my mom friends who never shared their nitty gritty details with me! So here are mine for whomever comes after me.
You Forget To Eat
Now I’ve never been the type of person to skip a meal – that always seemed odd when I heard people say that they “forgot” to eat! My hunger growls would deafen someone and I’d probably black out within two hours of a missed meal… BUT during the first weeks there were days when it’d be 2pm before I found my way to the kitchen or ordered Mr. C to bring me something. Hours passed quickly and my focus was on this little screaming bundle (of joy? not) wanting attention and more milk and yes I forgot to eat. Honestly, I wouldn’t even notice until I looked at the clock. It’s probably the reason I lost all my weight within 4 weeks.
Showering is a Luxury
Once again, really, there isn’t time for a shower? A mom friend asked during the first month, “So did you shower today?” How did she know? Did she smell me through the phone? I guess she knew – the luxury of a shower is just that… a luxury. If given the option between reading emails, eating a girl scout cookie, just sitting on the couch OR jumping into the shower – I somehow chose everything other than the shower and I was fine with that. I had a good schedule and it seems about average when I ask around – every other day!
Why Mom Friends Never Schooled You
I didn’t understand why I was baby-clueless. I had friends and a sister that had children, but yet I don’t recall any horror stories. I remember big swollen bellies and then cooing babies and smiling faces. Why had these so-called friends not let me in on the reality of their world? The answer was they hide it from the single chicks. The bruised nipples, the exhaustion, the incessant googling, the wailing baby, the diaper rashes, the reflux – these are things not told to the childless friends. Why I demanded? “Because you wouldn’t get it.” I thought of that reply and the reality is – it would have flown over my head and I probably would have politely smiled and nodded. So to all my mom friends “thanks” from my former childless self – however this new mom would have appreciated some clues. And to my single friends, don’t worry I’m trying to keep it down to 1 out of every 8 issues because I know you don’t care. ha!
I was never one of those girls that babysat or changed diapers – shoot I barely held a baby. I changed my first diaper 3 years ago at the age of 34! My niece was 6 months old and my memory of it was like that of a crime scene. Poop was everywhere – in every nook and cranny and it smelled – I gagged and now I had to clean it with this wriggling, kicking baby. Well all of that goes away when it’s your baby. I’ve been pooped on, spat on, vomited on, and pissed on. I wipe it away and move on. Next.
Joining a Cult
I am exclusively breastfeeding my daughter and have found that I have unknowingly been inducted into a secret cult. I have never pushed my decisions on anyone and have learned not to do that for breastfeeding as well. I chose breastfeeding because it’s free, it’s great for the baby and I’ve bonded with her in an amazing way. However, many women are strong proponents of breastfeeding and have thus created a sisterhood. I did not expect that this ancient ritual would make me a part of a sorority. If a woman finds out you are breastfeeding or sees you feeding in public – a smile spreads, stories are exchanged and like that we are now sisters of the leaky boob.
I’m relieved that I’ve survived the first three months and look forward to what’s to come but still think there’s way more trials and tribulations ahead – but thankfully mom-friends have let me in on the realities of mommyhood. Wish me luck!
What did you learn in first three months?